Ms. Wahlberg was a Genius

Ms. Wahlberg taught sixth grade back then, when I was twelve. She rode a Harley and loved to dye those fancy Ukrainian Easter eggs. The last day of school, the last day of my elementary school career, she stared at me and said. "You are entering the finest years of your life."

She could say this because she did not have to go to seventh grade at Hosterman Jr. High, affectionately dubbed Hosterhole. She would not be slugged on the way in, or thrown to the ground and kicked after lunch. She would not have a flop-on-the-floor seizure in math class and watch the teacher freak out and run to the nurse, leaving her alone with classmates who jammed pencils in her mouth because Dale somebody-or-other saw on TV that people who have seizures swallow their tongues and die. Nope, Ms. Wahlberg could say that because she would stay in her safe little classroom waiting for the next year when she could dupe more kids.

The first day of senior high, our school herded all the freshman into the auditorium, and brought in a comedian who proclaimed, "You're about to make friendships of a lifetime. These are the greatest years of your life."

I heard it again during college orientation, once more at college graduation. The best years. Always the best years of my life.

And then I married. In the sermon, brilliantly given by my dad, I might add, a new note, "You're entering wonderful years, and challenging years." Our first child was born, and people smiled knowingly. "That first year, you'll never sleep. It's one tough year." Then our kids turned two. "Oh, those terrible twos. Those were the most miserable years of my life."

Somewhere between Ms. Wahlberg and kid number three, according to those around us, life u-turns, hope vanishes, people end up being jerks after all, friends aren't--not really. Basically, you figure out life stinks and all the Ms. Wahlbergs are liars.

Problem is, as I sit here and think of all the reasons life is blippin' hard, I have a big ol' smile on my face.

Comments

[Shelly H.]

Awesome. I'm so tired of hearing that, too.

[Brianhoo]

whens Jerk come out? cant wait

[JJ Loch]

Jonathan, what a great post! I'm excited about your release of JERK, CALIFORNIA. You have an engaging voice and create vivid imagery and strong tension which will keep the pages turning. I know the beauty you have found in life will shine even brighter in your work because of the tough times you had growing up.

The Lord gives us the tools we need each day to succeed. :D I'll be watching your blossoming career and it will be interesting to see what comes of your young author contest too. :D

Blessings! JJ